Category Archives: Just being a Diva

What Type of Woman Are You?

So it’s Good Friday, but things aren’t looking very good around my house. The laundry is piled up hip-high in the laundry room, dishes are still in the sink, the dogs need washing, and I’m not sure I can even get into my son’s room without a jack hammer or backhoe. The pets are guilty of tracking in dirt and leaves by every door, and am I the only one who has several stacks of unopened bills, junk mail, and unwanted direct mail set around on the kitchen counter?

So, I’m sitting here on the couch (okay, the one corner that’s not loaded down with the clean clothes that need folding) and I’m wondering if it is too early to break open a bottle of wine.

I’ve had the sliding doors opened to the backyard because the spring weather is seductively calling my name, whispering to me that I shouldn’t really have to clean on a day like today. My son is at the beach with friends, my husband’s at work, and yet I am stuck here amid a marathon of Law & Order reruns… okay I admit, I’ve opened the bottle of wine now.

Yeah, there’s not much in the refrigerator, but is there ever?  And, my husband will probably be calling in an hour or so to see what’s for dinner.


I could probably change clothes and go for a quick run, but who am I kidding? (The glass of wine is half gone.)

There are so many productive things that I could be doing, should be doing, would be doing if I were another type of woman. If I were like my mother, not only would the house be spotless, I would have swept out the garage and relined the drawers.  If I were like my mother, the bills would not only have been opened and paid, but the checkbook balanced to the penny. If I were like my mother, I would have been at the gym when it opened at 6 a.m. and gone by the grocery store on the way home. (I’m on my second glass now.)

But I’m not like my mother… I’m not that type of woman. I am the type of woman who realizes the laundry will wait until I am good and ready to do it. (Or when I run out clean clothes…) I am the type of woman whose husband will still love her even if the dishes haven’t quite made it into the dishwasher yet. I am the type of woman who can always workout tomorrow. 

I am the type of woman who can do all those as well as place a pretty mean take order from P.F. Changs at the same time as I am sending happy birthday wishes on Facebook. I can shove the dog out the door with one foot as I tweet away about an upcoming charity event.  I can turn a blind eye to the mess around me and look to the sunset and appreciate it for the beauty it holds. I can love my son for the hard work he does at school, the manners he demonstrates in public, the smile he gives his grandparents. I can find self-worth in the way I make other people feel rather than the domestic skills I lack.

I am the type of woman who will not let the sweat pants and t-shirt I am wearing make me feel less sexy. (Well, maybe just a little.)  Yep, that is the kind of woman I am. You may not have the same priorities as I do, the same outlook on life, the same disparity of cooking and cleaning, but I will proudly take a stand on the type of woman I am… will you?

 And as I finish typing this blog post I smile to myself (and hiccup as I finish the second glass of wine)… I am also the type of woman who can take a pretty bad Good Friday and turn it into something pretty good after all.


“Why, yes, I am cheap and easy…”

Although I’m a non-cooking Diva, I still have to feed two hungry guys in my household. So, what to do? 

I was on a great Food Blog Forum  earlier this week following a discussion about why so many people do not eat healthily.  Time and money seemed to be the main sticking points. The perception is that we’re just too busy to cook something healthy and that good food costs more than the regular McDonald’s fare.  Well, since my husband is a bit of a health fanatic (Translation: McDonald’s isn’t served often at our house!) I have to be a bit creative… which actually means I don’t have to be creative at all…I’ve already discovered the obvious secret for a non-cooking Diva to be healthy!

Every weekend, I head to the Maitland Farmer’s Market and I make the rounds for some fruits and vegetables.  I look for a variety of colors–reds, oranges, greens, yellows–and things that I know my son might actually consume. Some of my regular purchases include:

  • Baby bell peppers
  • Cucumbers
  • Seedless grapes
  • Blueberries
  • Strawberries
  • Snow peas
  • Bananas
  • Clementines
  • Mangoes

Only every once in a while will I sneak something new and exotic in, such as Starfruit or Papaya.  All of these foods are regularly available at my farmer’s market or at the local grocery store and don’t cost very much.  For example, I spent $22 this morning on all of my weekly produce. (So, that defeats the “eating healthy costs more” argument.)

Once home, I take 10 minutes to wash some selected fruits and veggies (defeating the “time” argument) and then display them on a set of plates.  This is the key, I think, making the display look attractive… for some reason it really does make my son more apt to eat.  One set out, my hubby and son are told the plates need to be empty by sundown.  And so, they munch all day long, grabbing a few grapes as they pass by or taking a handful of cucumber slices as they plop in front of the T.V. 

I usually include one bowl of snack food, such as some kettle corn I got from the market this morning.  This gives us a little something yummy along with the healthy, and this subliminally equates fruits and veggies as being equally desirable as other snacks. (Gotta be sneaky, right?)

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The nicest thing about this method is that I don’t stress over my son having to eat his vegetables at dinnertime, because he has already met his needs.  This makes mealtime a really enjoyable time, rather than one of arguments over what to eat. 

On Sunday nights, I will go ahead and wash the rest of the fruit and veggies, put them some storage containers so they are easily whipped out after school to munch on the rest of the week.

So, there you go…this Diva’s secret to healthy eating, cheap and easy!

Welcome to the show…

Don’t let the title fool you; I am a Diva, inside and out.  Just not a Domestic one… I can’t cook and I hate to clean!  So, I decided to chronicle my uphill battle in the home, where the domicile deities constantly plot against me. Laundry… ever growing piles. Dust… use your finger to draw a sorrowful a picture in it.  Recipes… toss it in the trash I’m heading out for dinner! (Who knows where you’d even buy green tea extract or truffle oil anyways…)

My alter ego, Bess Auer, is a published novelist who runs the Central Florida Top 5 blog.  She can’t stand cleaning house either.